battling the should haves...

Music is good therapy for me. There are three songs I keep hitting repeat on.

Faithful God - Laura Story (this one's my favorite right now...)  

"And may this hope that reaches to the depths of human need 

Be the song that I sing- in joy and suffering... 

Faithful God, every promise kept 

Every need You've met- Faithful God 

All I am and all I'll ever be 

Is all because You love faithfully" 

If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens

"The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley, if You want me to...
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone."

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

"I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting,  I will serve You

While I'm waiting, I will worship

While I'm waiting, I will not faint

I'll be running the race- even while I wait."

I'll be the first to admit to you that I'm still working on that last one.  It's hard to move ahead in faith, when I want to wallow in self pity.  It's hard to serve and worship Him when I am so wrapped up in myself.  It's not pretty, people.  But, I'm striving towards something, someONE better. 

I'm determined to fight my best battle this week against the should haves.  While we were indeed booked on a flight out of here to go get our son on Sunday, it obviously not was our "should have."  While we had planned to take custody of Hudson on Tuesday, God had planned another itinerary for us.

Do I understand?  No way!

Do I trust Him?  You bet.   

So while my schedule this week looks completely different than all our plans, I'm not going to dwell on the "should haves" like I want.  I don't want to miss what God has for us, right here, right now.  Yes, it hurts sometimes, and it's hard and messy.  But every new day is our real "should have," regardless of how different we had planned it.

We pray for God's will and His glory above all else.  We know He is doing a great thing.  While we wait to see it unfold, we will keep running the race set before us.