in one month..

In just one month we will be arriving home as a family of three.

What a journey it has been to get here!

Looking back, I may not ever understand WHY things have happened the way they did, but I do understand WHO is in charge. While I would have never chosen this rocky, unpredictable road we have traveled, my Savior knew. He has used each trial to gently call my heart to His, to teach me lessons of His love and faithfulness, and to mold and shape me. And I am so thankful for how He has redeemed this time.

We are so excited (and honestly a little nervous) about how our lives are about to change. We know it is a HUGE blessing, honor, and privilege to be called Hudson's parents. God has entrusted us with Him, and we desire to do everything we can to help Him grow into a man after God's heart. We are so thankful for this calling.

Because of our desire to do the very best for him, things for us will look a little different when we come home. We want him to be able to know that Mom and Dad will always be here, will always meet your needs, and can be trusted. As you can imagine, this will take some time, as the first two and a half years of his life, he has not experienced this. We are looking forward to pouring into his heart, and earning the titles of Mom and Dad in his eyes.

We can definitely use your help with this! First and foremost, we covet your prayers as we transition to a family of three! This will be a very scary and confusing time for Hudson, as he will be leaving the only place he's ever known, with two people he barely knows! Begin praying for his heart, that he will feel comfortable with us and begin to bond with us in ways that can only be attributed to God!

Also, if you would graciously allow us to be the ones to meet his needs until we feel that bond is secure, it would be most appreciated! This will be things like holding him, comforting him, feeding him, changing him, or rocking him to sleep. We don't want him to feel as if he has to "perform" to be loved, or that he is still in a baby house with multiple caregivers. We want him to be able to trust us, so that then he can begin to trust you too! He does, however, give some awesome "high fives," and waving and blowing kisses are great ways to let him know you care!

I know all this may sound a little strange at first, and by no means are we trying to keep you from Hudson. We only desire the very best for him, and that will include having you as a part of his life! However, as his world is changing so much, so quickly, our research tells us that these guidelines that help to keep his world small at first establish a great foundation for the rest of his life. And that is what we desire for him! We can't tell you how much we appreciate your support with this!

We are so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends that want nothing but the best for Hudson and have prayed us through this journey. We appreciate you more than we can say!

Also, for more information on attachment and bonding, check out the following posts by Rebekah:

What is a "Attachment" and why are you so worried about it? 
What is "Cocooning" and Why Are you Doing It? 

 

A HUGE "Thank You!" and the rest of Trip 3!

My heart is so full of joy and thankfulness that it is hard to express in words. You all have been so faithful to walk beside us, lift us up in prayer, offer words of support and encouragement, and carry us through the darkest of days.  "Thank you" isn't enough.  You have been an invaluable blessing to us, sent by God, to help us keep our eyes on Him alone and not the raging seas.  We so appreciate your investment into Hudson's life and story, and are beyond thankful to have you as a part. God alone deserves all the praise and the glory, as He is the one who has brought the victory!  We are nothing special- the only good in us is Jesus!  Thankful for the ways He has molded us throughout this process, and how He continues to do so!  Thank you for asking for His will to be done on our behalf.  Thank you for standing with us in faith.   Thank you for each word of truth and encouragement.  Thank you for not giving up on the work that God is doing, both in us and through this adoption story!  It TRULY would not be the same without you. 

With that said, let me catch you up on the rest of our trip.  We left early Monday morning to drive to Hudson's region.  After a 3 hour car ride, our first stop was to the Court House to drop off our last minute paperwork, and to pick up the Baby House Representative so she could help prepare us for court.  Then we headed off to the baby house!  After we checked in, they went to get Hudson for us so we could play until lunch and nap time. 

When the caregiver first presented him to us, he started crying.  It had been 5 months since our last visit, and I can't say that I blamed him!  However, after a peace offering of some animal crackers and a toy cell phone, all was right in his world again.  He hadn't grown too much, but they gave him a haircut which makes his cowlick more pronounced and makes him look much older!  We had a blast watching the "machinas" (cars!) out the window, making him laugh, and chasing him around.  He has such a little personality, and tons of energy!!  He's also definitely two!  He's testing his independence- "no" only makes him laugh and try harder to do what you don't want him to do!  At the same time, he is full of sweetness and loves to be held, hugged, and kissed.  Lunch time came quickly, and we had to return him to his group, even though he protested and wanted to stay and play. 

We then got down to serious business.  We spent the next 3 hours preparing for court, answering questions, and working on our speeches.  The team felt it would be best for us to prepare this time by writing speeches of everything we wanted the court to know, to try and eliminate the need to ask questions.  They of course will still ask questions, but we tried to present as much information as possible from the very beginning.  Once we felt we had covered every little detail, we zipped off to the hotel to check in, grab some lunch, and head back to the baby house just as nap was ending. 

This time, they let us take him outside to play!  We found a small, unoccupied playground with a little slide.  He was full speed ahead, and I was terrified we were going to return him with something broken!  He has no fear, and zooms ahead!  One time, he nearly tumbled off the slide head first, but I happened to catch him.  He of course thought this was hysterical, and proceeded to try again!  We also discovered and tried to kill a bug.  We're working on our gentle hands!  :)  We also have taught him to give "high fives" in preparation for coming home!!  He is completely adorable, and we cannot wait to get him home!

At dinner time, we had to take him back to his group and leave.  That night after dinner, we typed up and practiced our speeches, courtesy of the ladies at the front desk who printed them out for us.  We took some melatonin and excedrin PM to make sure we would be well rested the next day for court, and finally fell asleep.  I kept waking up anyways, fearful we would oversleep and miss our court appointment. 

The next morning, we got up, went over our speeches again, and got dressed and packed up to check out of the hotel.  I was too nervous to even eat.  We drove to court, and waited inside for what seemed like forever.  Finally it was time to get started.  My nerves started to settle down as I prayed for what was about to happen. 

Ryan went first- he did such an awesome job delivering his speech and sharing his heart with the court.  They asked him a few questions afterwards, but nothing he hadn't already said.  He answered those very well, and then it was my turn.  I gave my speech, answered my questions while my knees shook a little, and then our part was over.  After the Baby House doctor and inspector spoke on our behalf, the judge went through our pile of documents, one by one, reading and explaining the contents.  I thought she would never get to the bottom of the stack, but appreciated that she considered all our hard work that was represented in those papers. 

The prosecutor then stood up to give her speech.  My heart was about to pound out of my chest.  She approved our petition to adopt!  I couldn't believe it!  We were asked if we had any closing words, and each of us stood up to share again how much we love Hudson and can't imagine our lives without him.  With that, the judge asked for a 5 minute recess to make her decision.  She came back quickly (but it still felt like forever!) and gave her speech that we had satisfied our petition to adopt- or in other words, that we were Hudson's parents!!

The whole team was overjoyed, and we went out to lunch to celebrate.  It was definitely a day of victory!

There is still the 30 day waiting period until we can take custody of him, so we have returned home and are resting up in preparation of the 2.5 year old whirlwind that will soon be occupying every minute of our lives!  We couldn't be more thrilled, and can't wait to start our life as a family of three!  We are so blessed that God has chosen us to be his parents!

We passed court!!!!

Hudson is FINALLY coming home!!

Will you join us in prayer?

We are diligently preparing for court in the morning.  Would you please join us in prayer for God's will to be done?  Our court appointment is at 10 am, or 2 am EST.  We can't tell you how thankful we are to have you standing with us!

so far...

When we arrived on Thursday morning, to say we were shocked with the temperature is an understatement. When we left last time, it was -11 degrees. When we arrived, it was 82 degrees, and no snow in sight!  It took some getting used to! 

Immediately after landing, we took off to meet with our facilitator, have a debriefing, and then we were gone to have our blood work taken in advance of our 8 doctor medical, so we could take the results with us to the doctors.  One vial later, we were free to go to our host home and REST!  With it being so nice here weather wise, we were given a key to the apartment building and sent off to explore the city. 

The next morning, we set off on our all day adventure of the 8 doctor medicals.  We spent the day traveling from floor to floor, waiting for doctors, getting checked out, and waiting for doctors to fill out the forms.  Almost 4 hours later, all boxes were checked, stamped, signed, and paragraphs written stating that each doctor approved us to adopt.  It's nice to have that behind us!

Today was a free day to see the city, and our host took us to Tsaritsyno Park.  It had the feel of Central Park, but with a palace included.  It was a gorgeous day, with the temperature in the mid 70s and a light breeze blowing.  The park was beautiful!  It also is the home to the palace of Catherine the Great.  She was a character! 

So far, our trip has been successful and relaxing!  Preparing for the hard work to begin on Monday!  Thankful that our hope and peace is steadfast in the Lord! 

Let the journey begin!

A cup of coffee in hand, we are waiting at the gate to depart! We are ready for the next part of this journey, and anxious to see how God works and moves! Thank you for joining us in prayer for His will to be done!

in the chaos...

Life is a whirlwind.  In the midst of the chaos, I hear Him whispering to my heart.


"I will fight for you.  Remain calm"

Buried under piles of laundry- washing, sorting, folding, packing.  Making lists and lists for lists.  Weighing suitcases- adding, removing, re-weighing.  Trying on outfits until I find the one that is just so.  Chasing paperwork to the very last minute.  Planning and preparing our next flights.  Thinking through court.  Controlling all the things I can control.  I hear His gentle whisper again.

"I am in control.  Be still."

This calmness, this stillness- it is not inactivity.  It doesn't demand that I sit idly by as things that need to be done go neglected.  I MUST pack, I MUST get the paperwork, and I MUST carefully consider all that needs to be done.  But this stillness- it is an attitude of the heart. 

As I work through these things that must be done, I can carry around an attitude of anxiousness and worry, fretting over each little detail, and let fear creep into my very exposed heart. 

Or...

I can lay each day, each moment at His feet, knowing He is fully capable, in control, and working in all things.  I can go about these tasks joyfully and expectantly, trusting that He knows what is best.  I can keep my eyes fixed on Him, and my heart centered in His, allowing me to approach each day with a new sense of peace and wonder at what He is doing. 

I choose the latter.  Jesus, help my heart be stilled in You. 

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14

blocked.

I'm suffering from writer's block.

Maybe it's the fact that we just returned from Youth Camp, where we loved on and served teenagers all week with very little sleep.

Maybe it's the fact that we leave in 9 days, and I still have a bazillion unanswered questions and my to-do list is growing a mile a minute.

Maybe it's because Vacation Bible School is starting next week, and there's still so much to do.

Maybe it's the pile of laundry that is resting (unfolded) on the couch, or the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.

Maybe it's due to the fact that after we determined my broken camera wasn't able to be fixed, a crazy storm with 80+ mph winds blew through here, flipping the hard top to the jeep and smashing out the back window, leaving me to pick up the pieces and deal with insurance.  

I'm not sure why, but the words just aren't flowing right now.  ;)

Hoping to be back with more substantial "stuff" soon!